Father's Day
So, how can I get through today without thinking of my Dad. The answer is...I can't. I really miss him and today is a big, fat reminder of my constant heartache.
When I think about what a great dad he was and how he had no role model, it is amazing to me what a great man he turned out to be. I mean, he didn't have the gospel growing up, he didn't have parents that knew how to show affection or show pride in their kids' accomplishments. And yet, he did those things and more as our dad.
He took to being a member of the Lord's church like it had always been a part of him. He also took to being a father like he had had great examples in his life...which he didn't. One time Juli asked Dad how he knew what to do when it came to be a father and he said he learned in Elder's Quorum. Whatever they said a dad was supposed to do, then he did it. No "wanting to change" or wishing he was a better father--he just became that father.
He loved to be a part of our sports activities. He enjoyed sports so much and wanted us to have good experiences so instead of letting others coach us, he did it. And it wasn't like he had time. His jobs were always far away with lots of commuting time but he still made the time to be our coaches. Now that I am a parent and busy, I can better appreciate just what a sacrifice that was for him. Some dads who were given girls instead of boys would have just excluded the girls from their sports life and spent time away from the family doing their own sports activities. Not Dad. He started a girl's softball league in Duarte since there wasn't already one. I have a few memories of playing under the lights in Duarte at 2nd base and some sort of championship with a big trophy and being so small, I was carried on the shoulders of some other girls. When we moved to Claremont, he must have searched out the girl's softball league because we were immediately on teams and he was involved in the management part as well as coaching. Again, now that I am older, I can see what a big deal that was, too. It would have been easy to let his busy life keep him from getting us back into softball. But somehow he made it a priority.
Dad worked hard. He worked long hours and always had at least an hour drive each way and one time it was 2.5 hours each way (JIA). That is a lot of time away. And yet, that is not how I remember it. He made sure what little time he did have at home at night, his presence was known. Otherwise, I think we would have felt that Dad was never home and that is not the feeling that I am left with. I know he was a basketball referree at night for several years and he really enjoyed that. But again, I didn't ever feel abandoned or not loved.
As he got older and had more "disposable" income, Dad got to enjoy his love of old cars. He just loved going to car shows and just sitting in his chair by his car and meeting people and looking at cars. He didn't mind at all that it was the WHOLE day...like 8 or 9 hours of just sitting. To me that has the same appeal as going fishing. Just sitting there for hours doing nothin'! But at least at car shows there were other people to meet and hear about their stories. I am so glad Michael and I were able to go to a few shows with him and enjoy what he enjoyed doing so much. He loved winning a trophy, too.
Wherever Dad went, he made friends. I got my gift of gab from Dad. I used to make fun of him for talking to strangers and now my kids make fun of me for doing the same thing! Just wait, kids...you will be next. You will be at the grocery store and you will start talking to the check out lady and it will hit you...I am just like my mom! Aaaah!!
Well, like always, my thoughts are all jumbled. There are so many things I loved about Dad. What about you??
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!!
When I think about what a great dad he was and how he had no role model, it is amazing to me what a great man he turned out to be. I mean, he didn't have the gospel growing up, he didn't have parents that knew how to show affection or show pride in their kids' accomplishments. And yet, he did those things and more as our dad.
He took to being a member of the Lord's church like it had always been a part of him. He also took to being a father like he had had great examples in his life...which he didn't. One time Juli asked Dad how he knew what to do when it came to be a father and he said he learned in Elder's Quorum. Whatever they said a dad was supposed to do, then he did it. No "wanting to change" or wishing he was a better father--he just became that father.
He loved to be a part of our sports activities. He enjoyed sports so much and wanted us to have good experiences so instead of letting others coach us, he did it. And it wasn't like he had time. His jobs were always far away with lots of commuting time but he still made the time to be our coaches. Now that I am a parent and busy, I can better appreciate just what a sacrifice that was for him. Some dads who were given girls instead of boys would have just excluded the girls from their sports life and spent time away from the family doing their own sports activities. Not Dad. He started a girl's softball league in Duarte since there wasn't already one. I have a few memories of playing under the lights in Duarte at 2nd base and some sort of championship with a big trophy and being so small, I was carried on the shoulders of some other girls. When we moved to Claremont, he must have searched out the girl's softball league because we were immediately on teams and he was involved in the management part as well as coaching. Again, now that I am older, I can see what a big deal that was, too. It would have been easy to let his busy life keep him from getting us back into softball. But somehow he made it a priority.
Dad worked hard. He worked long hours and always had at least an hour drive each way and one time it was 2.5 hours each way (JIA). That is a lot of time away. And yet, that is not how I remember it. He made sure what little time he did have at home at night, his presence was known. Otherwise, I think we would have felt that Dad was never home and that is not the feeling that I am left with. I know he was a basketball referree at night for several years and he really enjoyed that. But again, I didn't ever feel abandoned or not loved.
As he got older and had more "disposable" income, Dad got to enjoy his love of old cars. He just loved going to car shows and just sitting in his chair by his car and meeting people and looking at cars. He didn't mind at all that it was the WHOLE day...like 8 or 9 hours of just sitting. To me that has the same appeal as going fishing. Just sitting there for hours doing nothin'! But at least at car shows there were other people to meet and hear about their stories. I am so glad Michael and I were able to go to a few shows with him and enjoy what he enjoyed doing so much. He loved winning a trophy, too.
Wherever Dad went, he made friends. I got my gift of gab from Dad. I used to make fun of him for talking to strangers and now my kids make fun of me for doing the same thing! Just wait, kids...you will be next. You will be at the grocery store and you will start talking to the check out lady and it will hit you...I am just like my mom! Aaaah!!
Well, like always, my thoughts are all jumbled. There are so many things I loved about Dad. What about you??
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!!
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